Tuesday, February 11, 2014

In serious need.

So to say I'm struggling tonight doesn't quite capture the pain of it.  I have been struggling emotionally for days. My son is in the middle of transition, preparing to move in with my husband in another state.  In the last twenty four hours I've been hit with two big pieces of painful news, and I feel like my plate is so absolutely full I'm going to break.

I don't think I can handle any more than this.

When I get in an emotional place like this I have trouble being grateful for what I have.  Everything seems like a concern.  Health concerns.  Financial concerns.  Relationship concerns.  Child and family concerns.

What the hell?  What the hell ISN'T a concern???

Breathe.  I can breathe.  I am grateful for the ability to breathe in and out, to slow my anxiety.  I am grateful to feel air deep in my lungs, clean and fresh.  I am grateful that I have lungs that are healthy, that work fully, and allow me to breathe without burden.

Tuesday, January 14, 2014


So it's nearly a month later and I'm just now posting my second entry.  I've thought about it many times but not written.  Truth be told, I'm probably like a lot of people.  I give daily thanks and praise when things are going well, but feel the need to write when things are a bit tougher.  I've been struggling emotionally for the last few days.  I've had some struggles at work as well as at home and on top of it, I've been sick.  I'm one woman with way too much going on!

I'm grateful tonight for a coworker who took time out of her day to engage me in a conversation about some personal and professional frustrations I'm going through--I'll call her Mary.  She listened, empathized, and expressed a desire to help or make things better.  As I told her, I tend to be pretty bad at putting on my own lifejacket first, so to speak.  My habits of being a worrier, not managing stress well, and not practicing self-care have led to a pretty high stress level that leaves me exhausted a lot of the time.  Having someone who expresses an interest and caring in a respectful way is such a wonderful gift.  For a little bit today, the anxiety and frustration lessened.  My job continues to give me wonderful opportunities and fulfillment.  I am so fortunate in that fact.